Searching

Lately, I have been searching for answers to questions, reasoning, circumstance...monumental things to be searching for. I cannot get past the idea of wrestling through something without having any idea why or how or what lead me to it. It's not logical to me because it has a beginning, but the end is unknown.

My deepest thoughts are at night when my head hits the pillow... when nothing but myself and silence surround me. It's therapeutic in some ways, but more so a curse for when the searching begins, I have no control or decision over when it will stop- aka, no sleep. But in this time of searching and thinking come realization; "ah ha" moments, if you will. For that, I'm thankful.

 Last night's moment of truth: perhaps what we find ourselves searching for is not worth our searching in the first place; instead, they may be questions (or trials, losses, individuals, to be extremely general...things) that need to be completely abandoned in order to find something new... something of greater purpose. The true challenge is letting go of the questions that may never be answered. That, my blogging friends, is a bridge that I personally need to cross. 

On a lighter note, I finally saw Twilight last night with a friend from work. We were both having "blah" days and decided the best way to end it would be with McDonald's and Twilight, DUH! Thus, we sat in a cozy booth in the middle of Mickey D's, cheered our McDoubles and McFlurries, and shared in a moment of strength together. Moments such as these make crossing the bridge a little easier...

...praying you find those as well.

love you e,

love, t.